i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Randomize
