i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
