JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
