After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
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