i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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