Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Randomize
