why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
