why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
