I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
