I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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