we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
We're too hungover to prance.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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