we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
