just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
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