Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
