theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
