I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
