just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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