I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Randomize
