..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I just had sex on a roof
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
