Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
