me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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