Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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