Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Randomize
