i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
