Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
