think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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