Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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