somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
