Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize