dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
