my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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