quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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