the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
