what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
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