i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
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