I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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