How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
