i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
