At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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