She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
it was like eating out sand paper
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
