Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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