You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
