when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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