Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
