Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
You have to summon your inner elephant
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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