im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
