At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize