in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
