My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I touched a dick in church today
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
