Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
ok first of all what the fuck
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
