how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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