it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
