she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Randomize
