Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize