Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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