How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
