I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
