Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
