there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
