I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize