Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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