It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
