Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
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