Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
The struggles of a small town man whore
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Randomize
