There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
