Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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