its not stalking. its research.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
