on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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