The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
