you win again, gameday.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Church boner. Awkwardddd
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
