I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize