My brain says no but my pants say off.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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